A poem I wrote recently. It’s so personal I feel a little vulnerable sharing it {I’ve actually been sitting here unable to press publish for ages!}, but I do believe the more vulnerable it feels the more universally true it is. And it’s good to push your own boundaries a bit sometimes.
At first you ARE the wound
Bloody and weeping
Raw and ragged at the edges.
You bump against the thoughts that reopen you
That break you open before the healing can begin
You feel you are dying. You are, partly.
All efforts to comfort
Inside and out
Are plasters.
Achingly inadequate.
The endless strings of words loop and tangle
Oceans pour from you
Until you wonder if somewhere a sea has dried up
Just to keep the world in balance.
Time passes.
You walk forward.
Up and out like a child climbing stairs
One, one, two, and again.
The edges soften.
The wound becomes a bruise
Sometimes you knock it accidentally
And spend some time back in the memory of dying.
Sometimes you poke it
Experimentally, hopefully.
Some days the pain is a shock. Aren’t I past this?
Other days it’s like touching air
It fades to a soft yellow
Until one day you realise
The pain has evaporated
Leaving a tiny scar
In the shape of a heart.
*****
devastatingly beautiful….and raw….and beautiful….”sigh”
“And spend some time back in the memory of dying.” <—- literally made me gasp.
thank you so much for sharing this…you are so right, the more it aches, the more true it is for the world…
xoxo
Thank you Mel, that means a lot coming from someone whose writing I admire. And thank you for helping me be glad I was brave! 🙂 xx
thank you. thank you so much for sharing this Tara!
I don’t have adequate words.
It’s perfect. It perfectly expresses this experience. Far better than any of the grief books I have been reading.
I’m in the early grieving stages after ending a relationship that had singularly sacred, special bits that I will possibly never experience again (liberally sprinkled with lots of pain).
This poem by you felt like a gift from Spirit to me.
I am feeling gratitude that you were courageous enough to share it!
Thank you
~♥~
Wow, I’m very glad I posted it now! I wrote it while getting over a break up too. I found Elizabeth Lesser’s book ‘Broken Open’ a great comfort, I really recommend it.
Thanks Tara. I read that a few years ago and completely forget it so I’ll get it out from the library again. 🙂
That is a blooming AMAZING poem – thank you. The universe always delivers in one form or another for me (all of us) something to hold on tooooooooooo. xx
Thank you Kate 🙂
Thank you for bravely sharing with us Tara. xx
Universally true. Universally true. Such raw honest bravery, I feel it deep in my belly. xx
OH. MY. FREAKIN’. GOD….
Hauntingly, painfully beautiful… and FILLED with hope.
i love this Tara. You are a gifted writer.
i hope you know this.
xox
Thank you P. I’m happy it spoke to you. xx