I’m going a little off piste today. Being confined to the sofa means a) I’m not painting and b) I’m doing a lot of thinking. (Uh oh!) And I’m currently thinking about self love. Everywhere I look lately people seem to be talking about loving yourself and how you must do that before you can love anyone else/give to the world etc. I totally subscribe to this concept having seen the opposite in action, and like so many things I understand it intellectually, but when it comes to APPLYING it…. well, I’m a bit stuck!Usually when people talk about self love it seems to be in the context of pampering, of doing a physical thing to ‘make yourself feel better’. I am advised to take long hot bubble baths, read, get out in nature, treat myself to things that make me happy basically.I like a bath, I love to read, and there can be no denying that nature is a great soother of the soul. But something is not clicking into place here. I’m stuck on the how. Maybe having a bath isn’t really me reminding myself that I’m loveable and worthy exactly as I am; maybe it’s someone else’s way of saying it and I need something different. How can I not know what I value enough to give it to myself?!I am not sure I know more than one or two people who really do love themselves, without conceit or bombast. Who have just quietly accepted themselves with a great and gentle love and feel no need to talk about it or prove it in any way. I know an awful lot of people who don’t; people I think are fabulous on every level who find things in themselves to criticise and reject. They are the same people who tell me all the time that I am too hard on myself. I know it. It’s a theme of my life. It’s not that I want to be mean to myself; I am just not at all sure how to change it. (Or why I even started it, but that’s another story!)I would love to know your thoughts on this! We all know we need to love ourselves more. How do you do it? How do you make the leap from a lifetime of not feeling good enough, of your worth being conditional on what you do, to a genuine deep down acceptance and love for yourself exactly as you are? I am not convinced that a bath is gonna do it frankly.I’m aware that I am still looking outside myself here; I’m asking you for what works for you, when that may not work for me. I just feel that until I make that ‘click’ of understanding, not just in my brain but in my heart and soul too, I won’t know what it really means to love yourself. Perhaps it’s a tiny step at a time kind of process. Each kind thing you do for yourself leads to love. I’m pretty sure it’s not a sudden ‘Boom! Yesterday I didn’t love you, now I do!’ kind of thing. I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences with this. And I’ll keep you posted about any sofa revelations!
I recently signed up to emails from The Daily Love. I sign up to lots of newsletters and then filter out the ones that don’t resonate for me. This one really does; its creator, Mastin, is both wise and accessible. I always seem to find something to take comfort from in the emails. I recommend it for a little boost of Good Stuff that doesn’t take long to read and gives you things to mull over as you go about your day.