So it was pissing with rain when I woke up the other morning, and I was forced to abandon my original plans and stay in bed with my new Flora Bowley book and some breakfast.
Reading it brought back many of the things I learned in her class last year {goodness me, a year ago next month}, to the point where I was galvanised into leaping out of bed and spending most of the day in my studio. Hooray!
It seemed fitting to tackle this enormous bad boy, who’d been languishing reproachfully in the hall for the past eleven months after being started at said retreat. I felt it was safe to assume that it wasn’t going anywhere in this state by this point, but could at least be a springboard into something new. Not to mention a good exercise in non attachment {especially when you are told later on that it was better before you messed with it. Humph.}
Over the course of three hours I messed with it. A LOT. I referenced Flora’s book a lot too.
I tacked up this image on the right because I wanted to use the shape. I had a vague notion of abstract figurativism, a term I think I just made up.
I’m not sure how possible it is to learn from another artist without at least partially taking something from them that then shows up in your work, whether it’s colour choices, shapes, mark making or anything else. So by this point I felt it was way too ‘Flora’ and not enough ‘Tara’. {God I love those colours though.}
As Flora points out, “There is nothing wrong and plenty to be learned from looking at other people’s work and finding inspiration there; however, doing so has the potential to draw you away from your own voice. Notice when your creative expression feels forced, difficult, contrived, or simply not your own. Listen closely.”
Quite. I didn’t need to listen closely with the sound of my own self screaming in my ear that this was starting not to feel like me at all.
Or at least, kind of me, but also clearly Flora-influenced.
I kept swimming in and out of ugly phases and not knowing what to do and just diving in and trusting, and going away for coffee and snacks.
As it stands now it looks thus:
{ark. blurry. it’s a little sharper in real life}
I hung it up to see if it would speak to me more clearly from the wall than from the studio. Depending on the day I tend to ‘know’ it’s finished and love it to death, or feel very uncertain about the whole thing. I do like the ‘it could be a figure…. but IS it?’ quality. You could hang it any way up really.
Another telltale sign of incompletion {another made up word?} is that it hasn’t given me a title yet. There’s definitely something iffy about the top and middle right area. Today, anyway.
Interesting! I like the original, but…I feel like I see more Flora Bowley in that one than in any stage of the revamped version! I think the color shift was a real move toward *you*, and I really rather love the way it stands now. I totally see the figure, and I see the shape off to the side and behind her as a sort of road that twists up to the sky. (I’ve also been sitting here, upending my laptop every which way and squinting at the thing, trying to see if I agree that you could hang it any which way. And I don’t think I agree. 😉 ) xoxo
i, too, enjoy the original but it fairly roars FLORA at me….because a blind man on a galloping horse could spot that particular style — which i love, actually.
so i’m glad you fiddled and faddled and let it become more you…but i totally know what you mean about how when you study a particular artist or style and you keep getting sucked into feeling like it’s just a reproduction. but i also believe we learn best by copying.
so there you go.
and i have every faith that you’ll sort out how it’s supposed to be….i happen to love anything with aqua and magenta in it so i’m already won over.
xo
Ooh love seeing your. Process and how you worked with. The flora techniques and moved away from her influence. Really interesting and inspiring. X
DUDE!! 🙂 … i think it takes SO MUCH GUTS to do what you did with this. To fly with it. To paint over. To make it your own. To question. To trust. To hang it up. To pull away. To let yourself be inspired by Flora (or others) but not invaded or replaced.
i LOVE where it is now, and whether it’s done or not, it seems far more “you” than it did when you began the process.
I love love all the white space… and yes, i see a figure, with a hand on her hip, and a heart. 🙂
But more importantly, i see a fantastic process of letting go…. WAY TO GO GIRL! xoxo
Oooh, what praise indeed! Also I love that you saw the heart, which I didn’t mention. 🙂 I’d like to agree that yes I’m very brave and gutsy, but I paint over old work all the time, and by the time I do I’m always WAY past the ‘eek, is this a big mistake’ stage. But I’ll take the rest of it, thanks. 😉 xx