I wish that was a metaphor. It isn’t.
A friend of mine gave me a Herman recently; Herman is a German Friendship Cake, kind of like the culinary equivalent of a chain letter. A chain cake, if you will. Thus:
So, a cake that takes ten days to make, has a personality and comes with a threat. What’s not to like?
You can probably guess I was always one of those people who felt pressured by chain letters. Now I’m all grown up and everything…. no, I still feel pressured. So I made Herman. It took TEN FREAKING DAYS.
The kitchen smelled like a brewery {who knew that milk, sugar and flour left on the side would become beer?} and every morning I was greeted with what looked like frog spawn bubbling up in the bowl. Nice.
Fortunately the aforementioned friend also gave me a piece of a Herman she made earlier, so I knew it would potentially be worth it. Even when I’d added all the bajillion extra ingredients and it looked like someone just threw up in the bowl.
See all that yellow and white? Shitloads of melted butter and brown sugar. Very wrong but totally worth it for crunch later on.
I am happy to report that the ten day torment WAS worth it, even though I cheated and didn’t give away three portions of pre-baked Herman to friends as instructed. Obviously I will go to hell now. I actually forgot that you’re not supposed to put a lid on Herman, and the three tubs exploded in the night. Oops.
And godDAMNit!
But look at this appley, walnutty, raisiny, cinnamony goodness. Obviously as I’m a Nartist and not a food photographer or chef, all you get is photos of hacked-into-cake {above} and broken-when-I-took-it-out-cake {below}. And blurry at that. Don’t say I don’t spoil you.
So yeah. It tastes excellent but in my opinion NO cake is worth ten days of my life. Well not twice anyway.
Should you ever feel the overwhelming urge to make a Herman, RUN AWAY! ARE YOU CRAZY?!! No, what I was actually going to say was, you don’t need cooking apples; I just used a couple of random eating apples and it came out fine.
Oh and I just Googled Herman in case you DO want to be insane, and he not only has his own website, he also has a FORUM. I am running away now. Into my studio to do painting and things that make sense to me.
I’ll just take some cake with me.
not the dreaded Herman?? My 8 year old nephew gave me Herman last year, but don’t tell him, he ended straight in the bin… Fortunately he never asked how Herman was. And did you know Herman was featured on Woman’s Hour on Radio 4 last week?
Oh yes, the dreaded “friendship bread” as I know it. Haven’t heard it called Herman. My nephew gave me one last year and it went straight to the garbage. I’m into fermenting things, but just haven’t been able to deal with this one, too many ingredients, and yes, too many days. I remember getting one in college and didn’t know anything about it and it exploded and oozed all over my counter because I had it in a tupperware with a lid on it! Oh well. Good for you though for following through with at least the first part of the chain!
Oh my – 10 days!!!???***
Well done for persisting – I don’t think I’ll try this one lol!!
Great post to read though.
x
“So, a cake that takes ten days to make, has a personality and comes with a threat. What’s not to like?”
My love for you has just grown about a million-fold–oh, man, I just laughed so hard. I absolutely HATE these things. Chain letters–those I hate, but I feel no guilt at all about letting them wither the moment they hit my mailbox.
Chain sourdough live things that come with chipper little admonishments about how *good* people will clearly make this cake and pass it on to all their most *wholesome* and *right-thinking* friends? I pass them on to someone who cares as soon as humanly possible, because while I actually cook and bake quite a bit, and while I actually do love a nice sourdough starter, I CAN’T BE BOTHERED WITH THIS KIND OF NONSENSE. I’m sorry, there are plenty of delicious cakes to be made. Passive aggressive ones that saddle you with a week-and-a-half of responsibility you haven’t chosen? Not so much my bag. It’s like giving someone an un-asked-for pet, in my opinion.
Funny that’s the second time I’ve ‘heard’ someone talk about this cake this week! First was on the radio…
Looks delicious!
Oh Tara, that was hilarious. You have FAR more patience than i do. 10 days for a CAKE?!? Fucking crazy, if you ask me. 🙂
Plus, the kitchen & i don’t get along, so whenever i’m in the mood for something yummy like this, i visit a local bakery, where they KNOW what the hell they’re doing. LOL. Your cake looked FABULOUS though… i’m sure it tasted wonderful. You had me laughing all the way…xoxo