ICK.
Seriously. Cloud nine one minute, then this. It’s partly creative ick, and partly spiritual work/shifting ick, but below is an excellent illustration of how ick of any kind does affect my creativity and why forcing yourself isn’t always the answer. {Actually I’m not sure it’s ever the answer.}
Painting it out DID NOT WORK. I could not hate this painting more. The colours are so gross! They really jar to me. Funny though that she looks pretty happy and free, so maybe I painted the truth – my real self with an overlay of ick (gross colours). Interesting stuff, this intuitive painting.
Goddess Leonie has written a post today about it too, so clearly it’s not just me. {This is quite comforting.} And although it kind of doesn’t agree with my personal feelings about ‘doing it anyway’, Connie talks about painting through the ick her way, here. And oh look! When I went over to Connie’s to get the link for it, I find that today she’s written about the same thing as me! Big epiphany, followed by big knock out of alignment. {I didn’t mention my epiphany cause I’m not really ready to talk about it yet.}
I’m so longing to get back into my painting groove, but you can’t mess with the quiet periods {see above for evidence!}. Also I am reading Twyla Tharp’s ‘The Creative Habit’ and am resistant at every page turn so far, precisely because she’s all about the routine, the ritual and the no excuses. I felt kind of bad about it at first, but then I remembered that we are not all the same, and that the fact that I don’t fare well within structures is totally ok and fine. There is a time to paint, a time to not paint and a time to bake cupcakes.
Here are some little things I do during an ick phase which can help to ease things up and distract my pesky mind/ego from being mean to me about it {a reminder to myself and perhaps something to help you kickstart if you feel icky too}:
~ Take the opportunity of spending time in the studio not painting to do tidying, clearing space, putting away and other such pedestrian tasks. Nature abhors a vacuum and studios abhor empty desktops, white paper and blank canvases. Once it’s clear, creativity will rush back in. (It will.)
~ Do things that are nothing to do with painting. Either entirely non-creative {I like to watch box sets of Charmed}, or creative but different, like baking. Baking really is a healing thing; I’m no cook but I can whip up a batch of cupcakes and I just feel better. Plus I get to eat them.
~ Go outside. Do not underestimate the power of some fresh air, some nature, and maybe a sighting of the sea if you are fortunate enough to live near it.
~ Reading. I love love love reading. I often put it off though til bedtime {where I tend to manage one page before passing out}, but in the spaces where I’m not painting or doing Reiki or whatever else I might be doing, reading is soothing and peaceful and makes space in your head. It also feels kind of decadent and naughty if you do it during the day. 🙂
~ Talk to someone. I have various friends I email but rarely see, or friends who have unconventional schedules like me and can spend an afternoon over tea and cake. Whatever the format, talking about the ick can really help me regain clarity about how unimportant it is and makes it much easier to see the funny side. Plus if there’s someone else in the room you can discuss their stuff and not sit around dwelling in your own.
~ Remember that you can choose what to believe. If you want to believe that you’ve lost your mojo and now everything is shit, go right ahead. OR. Practice believing that this lull is actually an incubating time for something awesome. Your ego wants you to believe the former. Your heart/spirit/soul the latter. As my teacher always says, it’s not easy but it IS simple.
~ Keep walking through. The absolute last thing I am allowed to do in this state is be mean to myself. That doesn’t mean I don’t do it, but I remain vigilant and continually work to drop it and walk on, drop it and walk on, finding things to do or say to myself that lift me, and point me in a happier direction where the painting lives.
I’m off to bake some cupcakes. A painting is right around the next corner…
I was going through this yesterday. I had started something I loved and then got stuck on how to move forward with it and couldn’t see anything. I did finish it and didn’t like it — wasn’t at all what I was aiming for. So I got frustrated and fed up. A friend suggested I make some ugly art so I tried that in my journal and while it helped, it wasn’t “the” answer. So I did one of the things you recommend that works for you and went off and did something else. Later in the afternoon I just started again on the canvas and something else happened and I really, really like it. Thanks for talking about this Tara. You have some great suggestions and it’s really about emptying the mind, focusing the mind on something else and just being patient with yourself. As for not like Twyla Tharp’s book with every page turn…I felt the same way. Just wasn’t for me and that’s okay. As you were saying, we aren’t all alike and we don’t all work in the same way…isn’t that a great thing?!?
I’m so pleased you got past the ick Sherry! Also pleased that I’m not the only one to struggle with Twyla. 🙂
OMG! someone else who openly admits to watching charmed!!!! ;)))
i get through ick phases by looking at other people’s art, just to get inspired again. :)) x
Charmed is amazing! Ain’t no shame in that. 🙂
Good point about looking at other people’s work; although sometimes I find it demoralises me further so have to be a bit careful with that one.
this is a GREAT post….
so much truth in what you say — i’m not for the “routine” either — it just doesn’t work for me. i’ve learned to bob along with the ebb and flow of my creativity and trust that the lulls are both necessary and fruitful. it’s a lot to do with trust too — faith that the creative Spirit really is infinite and we won’t ever ‘run out’.
oh – and i LOVE Charmed….lol
xo
Thanks Mel!
All Charmed fans welcome here!
Great post Tara!
As much as I admire Ms. Tharp and her unfailing work ethic, I think the rest of us mere mortals often struggle a bit with her insistence on strict routines and habits. Even though I know that my writing could certainly benefit most days from a hefty dose of self-discipline (and/or an intelligent idea), I’m with you in the fact that we also need to make room in our lives for cupcakes as well. After all a creative soul cannot live on coffee and chocolate alone 😉
Couldn’t have put it better myself! And also interested to hear your perspective on Twyla. Have a cupcake.
Great post and some really helpful tips! One of the most important ones for me is getting outside with the animals and completely switching off from everything else. That, and learning not to beat myself up if it takes a few days (weeks) to return. It always comes back when the times right.
x
I love this post! I actually really like the painting you did there – very ’90s! De La Soul meets Soul II Soul!
I’m going to try your list next time the ick bites. Which is often with me…
And, yes! Baking rocks!!
xx
I must say this is not one of my favourite of your pieces, my lovely! But working through the ICK – not too sure about that. Personally I’d rather not even try when I feel this way – as now in fact haha! I have been cleaning out my craft room, sorting photos and printing a load in black and white for a clip frame bonanza on one wall, gardening, writing letters to each of my boys (something to keep), going for walks, meeting friends for tea and cake (wish we were nearer we could do that)…in fact anything to take my mind off the fact that I don]t feel like creating anything at all. That’s not bad – could be incubating creativity as you say but a prefer to think that my creativity is tired and needs a rest….and it gives me time to catch up on all those other pleasures of life.
Enjoy your ick time – it will come to an end and your creativity will shine through when it’s good and ready 🙂
Tara what an amazing and inspiring post! I love your points on how to get past that ‘ick’ stage such as choosing what to believe, walking through and baking cupcakes 😉
As usual solid advice that comes just when I needed to hear it xx