So.

Here’s another painting finished a few weeks ago, waiting for completion, then realising it IS complete. {There’s a life metaphor if ever I heard one.}

Yay.

My posts are a bit all or nothing lately. After all the upheaval and sad and all the not feeling good, and being scared, and things like that, there has been a series of unpredicted shifts. {Mind you if you know anything about astrology you would probably say they were TOTALLY predicted.}

There was, for example, an enormous row a few weeks ago, in the midst of which I realised that I am no longer afraid. Let me tell you, after 34 years of feeling fear and anxiety to some degree on a daily basis, having it drop away in one moment is something of a game changer.

I didn’t know I wasn’t scared any more until I said it out loud, and in that moment I knew it to be one of those Truths, and I felt I could hold the whole world, I had so much faith and courage.

If that sounds weird, it was. In the best way. So much so that I wanted to paint that feeling, and the images you see in this post are what came of it. It went through a couple of incarnations. At one point I thought there was going to be this amazing yellow woman kneeling with her arms stretched out in front of her and her hair all wild. {two images up}

But it wasn’t really happening so then I remembered some beautiful poppies I’d seen and photographed a few days previously. Yes, I thought, some vibrant red poppies.

Then I realised that I am not really a drawer of flowers {unless you’re after the ‘look what my three year old did’ look}, so back in with the gesso I went. But I kept the red. In a painting about fearlessness there should definitely be some red methinks.

And then I turned it and saw the figure.

And then in a very Goldilocks kind of way, I knew I’d found the image that felt juuuuuust right. :)

Some tweaking later…

{i will hold the world}

PS. I have since been reacquainted with Monsieur Fear and Madame Anxiety, but to a far lesser degree. I am assured that eventually I will live in a place where fear no longer rules my life or dictates my feelings or actions at all. Bring THAT on.

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