That’s actually the name of one of my favourite Jason Mraz songs, but it’s fitting. D and I are taking a time out; it’s not what I want although I guess on some level it must be, but the fact is I am very very sad right now. I am getting on with my life, I am ok, I still laugh and dance and continue my love affair with the beach, but there’s a big lump of sad trailing around behind me just now.
I don’t know what will happen, I can only hold a space for Something Wonderful, even if that doesn’t ultimately look like what I right now hope it might. I’m doing a lot of thinking too, and some ideas for paintings are percolating and will be show-and-telled when they come into being, but for now, I can’t {and don’t want to} pretend I am not sad.
There are so many complicated {and yet somehow simple} feelings when you part ways with someone; someone said to me it is a grieving process even though no one has died. I guess the thing that died was the potential of the future you saw growing. It’s not that now there is no future of course, only it doesn’t look like what you thought, and even though I have faith that everything happens for a reason, and that whatever comes next can only be magnificent, there is no point pretending to myself that I am only excited about that. That I don’t have fear and sorrow, confusion and even some anger. To not honour those would be to deny them and have to deal with them later anyway.
I wasn’t going to say any of this. I am not asking for sympathy {although I take my comfort where I can find it!}; I know there is nothing to say. It is a part of my life though and I guess it wanted to be said. And I also know that there are many many many of us {human beans} who are being buffeted about these days. If it’s not 2012 stuff it’s planetary alignments or solar or lunar eclipses, or just weird energy that brings change out of nowhere and smacks us upside the head repeatedly in a variety of imaginative ways.
And so if shitty or difficult or sad things are happening to you or your loved ones, I send you enormous beams of love and endless streams of miracles. I send you big spaces where you can breathe deeply and feel peace, enormous reserves of strength within you and big swathes of hugs to support you. May your light shine brightly and bring healing to all you come across, starting with you.
{And if you don’t need it right now, maybe that message is for me after all.}
am thinking of you… xxxooo
This fellow human bean would like to send you a virtual hug and say hang in there. That was very kind of you to think of others going through tough times while you’re in the middle of working through yours…so I’m holding up a little mirror and reflecting some of my beams of peace and strength back to you. Keep on holding that space for Something Wonderful
Big, huge hugs of love and light to you sweet Tara. xxxx
Sending hugs, sorry to hear you are sad right now hun. x
Sending light and love and space to find peace. Thinking of you.
Sadly there seems to be a lot of it about, especially amongst the healers.
Be gentle with yourself.
Love and light to you.
Oh dearest Tara… i’m so sorry to hear this. Your words are filled with such wisdom and sadness…
Your STONES AND STARS painting… so friggin’ beautiful.
I am sad for you. I wish i could take away your pain,
but we’ll leave that to moon and stars… or the stones and stars…
and eventually, your heart will heal. Trust that you’ll be ok.
You will, cause I said so. And i’m the fucking queen of broken hearts, so pay attention, k?
Listsen to Nigel, and be gentle with yourself. xoxo
ah love….huge, squashy hugs and mugs of tea (or large goblets of wine) coming your way….xoxxoxox
Oh, Tara. I’m so sorry. So sorry. I am sending back to you 100-fold what you have sent to all of us. “I send you enormous beams of love and endless streams of miracles. I send you big spaces where you can breathe deeply and feel peace, enormous reserves of strength within you and big swathes of hugs to support you.” You are loved, you are held by all of us and the universe. We are with you..
xoxoxo
How open and honest and real you have been here. Sending light and healing times. This too shall pass. Even when you know that it will pass, it doesn’t stop it hurting in the now. But to hurt and feel sad even is being alive. Dead folk don’t feel. How that you feel better soon. X
I am so sad to hear you are hurting Tara. My heart goes out to you and my arms are ready to give you a hug. It is beautiful that you are letting yourself feel the feelings, that is the only way to work through them and let them go. They become part of us, transform us into something new. Sending you lots of peace and love today. xo
Well I was sad, then glad, then thinking I should like to say something, but what? I had not read your blog for a while and I found all the news (break -up, then back in the game, now, plus, inkblots!) heartwarming. You write so honestly and that is your gift, among others, seriously. In any case, I send you all good enerygy and can’t wait for more paintings to show up:)
xo xo