So I think it’s finished. {That’s an outright lie; I want it to be finished. Very badly.}

Anyway as I was saying, I think it’s finished. ‘It’ being my brother’s requested birthday painting.

Parts of this painting are so gorgeous I know I was in flow when they appeared. Other parts…notsomuch. Actual tears have been shed over this one. And it pains me to consider giving a painting that I am not totally in love with. It feels like cheating him of my best effort. But there is also such a thing as overkill, and since I feel I’ve already gone there on the Unmentionable Area, I figure that it’s at a point now where it can be loved despite its perceived flaws. {There’s one of those nice little painting/life analogies.}

As if to compound my frustration, it does not photograph well and therefore does not edit well. The nebulous blob on the right hand side is much darker and less nebulous in real life, and it’s all a bit less painful to look at than it is here. I’m sort of counting on the fact that my bro has not been looking at this every day like I have, and may therefore see more to love in it.  The words ‘now is the perfect time’ appeared in my head {as they do sometimes} the other day, and it felt meaningful to both me and him to have that in the painting.

And actually, I have given it my best effort. It’s full of love for my brother, including all the nebulous, harder to love parts.